“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18
Last month I made a mistake, a big mistake.
And I had a very difficult time getting a correction made.
I’m a financial professional and I made an error on client’s new account paperwork. Our company’s system that checks for these kinds of errors missed it. And lots of problems ensued.
After several days with no progress, I found myself using my 7th grade teacher voice, asking to speak with managers. I worked my way through the hierarchy of a large organization’s no-service customer service, refusing to be put on hold or to be called back.
By the time I’d gotten the change made, I’d cashed in a every last chip of “good will” I’d ever had.
Anyone listening to my conversations with the home office would have thought, Wow! They really screwed up!
No, I really screwed up. I made a mistake, a big mistake.
The mistake started with me. I can blame the home office for not catching the error. I can impugn their processes. I can bemoan their inability to make things right at the precise moment I thought they should make things right.
But I made a mistake. I was the one who messed up in the first place.
And even worse? Had anyone known that I was “the” Deanna who loves helping women of faith connect our delightfully ordinary stories to God’s extraordinary love and faithfulness, they would have been stunned. They would have rightly assumed there must be another Deanna Nowadnick.
There should have been another Deanna.
I love talking about my walk with God. I delight in morning praise music, devotions that encourage and empower me, quiet walks.
My walk with God’s people is not quite as joyful or peaceful at times. Because I don’t always have it pulled together. I make mistakes, one mistake after another.
And because stuff happens, it’s easy to blame others in the moment. I think to myself, I say to anyone who will listen, “It’s not my fault…; I’m not to blame…”
But honestly, there are times, lots of times, when the fault is decidedly with me, the mistake was mine. And that’s when my walk with God takes a decidedly different turn.
When last month’s mistake was finally resolved, I finally confessed my sorry tale to God. I acknowledged out loud my poor handling of the situation, my terrible attitude, my insufferable arrogance.
And then I called our home office and apologized to the young woman who’d taken the brunt of my frustration—several times. Without saying a word about what was or wasn’t done at her end, I reminded her that I’d made the initial mistake, not only in the preparation of the original paperwork, but in the handling of the entire scenario.
What helped me get over myself were several things.
- First the discomfort of knowing I’d done wrong. I was physically and emotionally ill. And no amount shifting that blame made it better. It took me a week, but I got to that confession thing which gave me a chance to get to that forgiveness thing.
- I also got to that confession and forgiveness thing with the person I’d wronged.
- And I was able to do those things because I’ve got forgiveness to share and because I am surrounded my people who expect better of me—without judgement, without shame, with support and with encouragement.
When I told my sorry tale to a friend, she listened with patience and understanding. She let me get it all out, without belaboring it, without diminishing it. She nodded, knowing the bigness of my mistake, but then she smiled and said, “Let’s talk about next weekend…” You see we have a special community event coming up.
We are saved by grace, through faith.
That wonderful gift of love from God!
One of the things I’ve appreciated most about Karen Rae and the women of Fave Lifestyles, including our Girlfriends Inspired by God, is the honesty that abounds. Life happens for all of us. Some days will go very, very well; others won’t. Fave is a safe place in which to be real—to share accomplishments and struggles, to share stories of courage, to confess that mistake.
In the midst of my meltdown, no one knew what I was dealing with, but I knew I had a call with my friend coming up. I knew that a community of women were at the ready with support and encouragement.
Together we are a very special community.
Together we can show up for each other, because we never know what someone’s day might look like. Together we can love and make a difference, because we never know what someone might be dealing with.
In the New International Reader’s Version, our verse from 1st John gets straight to the point: “Dear children, don’t just talk about love. Put your love in action. Then it will truly be love.”
Heavenly Father,
We are saved by Your grace and this is not of our own doing. It is a gift of love from You.
Help us share Your love in all that we do. Help us put Your love into action.
In the name of Your dear Son, Jesus, amen.
Deanna is a writer and speaker.
She is the author of four books, Fruit of My Spirit, Signs in Life, Bouquet of Wisdom, and “Grandma, You Found Me!”
